Lawns, stinking lawns

[Tetge]

I live in the desert, and, as we all know, water availability issues have been, and are continuing to be, a serious concern in the arid west. Populations continue to grow and traditional sources of water are being more and more fully utilized. So, it is surprising that the city fathers of the city I live in decreed that they wanted green lawns all over the city, and, further, that it would lead to a citation if a property owner did not maintain said landscape. Of course, the water company is a separate entity and the water company is always crying about conservation. They have, in fact, tripled the water rates in the 12 years that I have lived in the city, because they allege that scare water is becoming harder to get and, hence, more expensive.

In any case, it takes a lot of water to keep a lawn green in the desert. But, that is not all. Automatic sprinklers never seem to work faultlessly. They clod up and they pop up and do not go back down and the wind blows and they water some places, like the sidewalk, but not others, where the lawn needs the water. And, within not too long a time, in the hot desert sun and with the frequent hot desert winds, the lawn is all dried out again and looking quite fatigued. We shall skip mowing and edging the lawn, although this involves physical labor and maintenance of the equipment. But, all that is not enough. The lawn needs food, such as weed and feed. And it needs medicine because there are air borne fungus that kill the lawn and leave big brown spots. We shall ignore the antics of the dogs that people walk, and, after carefully looking around, allow to use your lawn for their toilet. Dog walkers are sneaky as they need to make sure to empty out the dog to avoid it going at their own residence.

And, at the end of the day, all one can hope for is an acceptable ornamental lawn that is expensive to maintain and that has zero food value, etc. I'd write more, but I have to go use my spreader and treat the lawn for fungus again, and water it in. The anti fungus product does work, but, it has to be applied a couple of times a year to remain effective.

As a final note, I have to state that the City finally sort of saw the error of their ways and they started a program with perhaps the water company to pay a certain amount per square foot to people if they removed their lawn and replaced it with authorized desert landscaping. This sounds attractive to some degree, but, in fact, a desert landscaped from yard would require a lot more maintenance than a lawn and would only save water. So, the practice has not really caught on at all.

[Brakelate]

Sorry, you lost me after "I live in the desert..."

What was the point of your rant again?

[xjrguy]

I've been waging war with household lawn sprinkler systems since 1998......I was ahead at one point.

[Tetge]

I've been waging war with household lawn sprinkler systems since 1998......I was ahead at one point.

I have never won a single bout with the sprinkler system, even when my house was brand new. Most of the time they have some malfunction or another, and, I sort of patch things now and then. But, they are never correct, even just after inspection and adjustment. It is even worse when one breaks and you dig down and discover that the builders poured concrete over the pipe and you have to chisel out the pipe in the mud and dirt and all. And, of course, all the water in the system always bleeds down into any hole that you dig in order to fix a broken sprinkler. Tree roots, and roots of hedges, that were tiny when planted, also can, and do, wreck sprinklers. Ah, the many joys of home ownership sometimes overwhelm me.

[Brakelate]

And here, I thought I was alone in my never ending struggle with those plastic pipes from hell and their ever so fragile and absolutely non-interchangeable parts that outwardly appear to be such simple items.

Can I get an "Amen" from all of you out there who have ever been bent over tinkering with a "low pressure" head, only to have the end cap release a 50,000 psi hydrant blast of sandy, silty frozen water directly into your face. Bonus points if it blew your favorite set of glasses right off your face and onto the concrete below in the process.